The Suzie Diaries
Saturday, August 02, 2003
 
dude. your blog died.
 
My blog is having some serious issues.
 
I came back over here while the kids were playing outside just so I could say how much I hate kids...
 
HardcorePigeons: May the force be with you, Suzie-chan.
 
suziefromsweden: I have to babysit the crazy russian cross-dressing leg humpers
HardcorePigeons: EW!
HardcorePigeons: Good luck. Bring a gun.
 
Auto response from suziefromsweden: I'm showering. Be back soon.

HardcorePigeons: Don't be silly, Suzie. We all know you don't shower.
 
Sleepless in Seatle

Meg Ryan
I shall find out all I can about Tom Hanks and stalk him.
Tom Hanks
Your plan worked. I love you.


THE END
 
I currently look so ugly right now... Possibly the ugliest I've ever looked in my entire life.
Well, at least besides when I was in 6th grade... I was HIDEOUS in 6th grade.
 
suziefromsweden: Dude.
HardcorePigeons: .eduD
 
HardcorePigeons: I LOVE CHICKEN FINGERS
suziefromsweden: I hate chicken.
HardcorePigeons: gasp.
HardcorePigeons: even...CHICKEN FINGERS? with ketchup?
suziefromsweden: Chicken fingers are OKAY.
HardcorePigeons: they are FANTASTICO!
suziefromsweden: Only to someone who likes chicken.
 
yes, that's what jackass really is.


...but it's hilarious.
 
HardcorePigeons: he's a superfreak. superfreak, hes SUPERFREKAY!
 
Me and Kellay are having a conversation about 2 kidnapped kids from Houston, Texas.
(http://codeamber.org/get_ticker.cgi)
 
Damn Olsen twins...
 
THE MOTHERSHIP! ITS COMING TO GET US!!!!
 
I'm eating oatmeal... its really thick... and I'm eating it with a fork...
I'm so weird.
 
I hate you!
 
"You're not as smart and intellectual as you think."
 
Nothing is free anymore. What is wrong with this world?
 
I swear, all computer games are the source of all evil...
THEY WILL TAKE OVER YOUR MIND!!!!
 
ginirosaru: lol i was babysitting this girl
ginirosaru: and she wrote me a note
ginirosaru: and she was trying to write sweet dreams
ginirosaru: and she wrote see it jrems
 
No, jackass is a bunch of jackasses getting their asses kicked by inatimate objects...
 
no, dude.
JACKASS ROCKS.
everything on mtv is pretty much screwed but jackass and All Things Rock (which you've probably never seen cause they only show it between 12am-3:30am, and sometimes not at all).

but jackass seriously kicks ass.
 
Yeah, well, goodnight.
 
You know what I need? Carrot cake.
 
This is SO AMAZING.
Thankyou Sarah.
 
I'm actually tired.
 
suziefromsweden: http://www.defectiveyeti.com/archives/000690.html
MuertE de SiN: how did they get a picture of my keyboard?
suziefromsweden: LOL
suziefromsweden: You're a pirate!
suziefromsweden: I knew it!
MuertE de SiN: R
 
HardcorePigeons: Wouldn't it be weird if you spelled your name "Phsoozy"
suziefromsweden: LOL
HardcorePigeons: (silent PH)
 
HardcorePigeons: wouldn't it be funny if avocados grew on apple trees?
HardcorePigeons: and people would be all confused!
 
R!
Friday, August 01, 2003
 
Okay, So I'm not really travelling the world, but we can all just pretend, right?
 
Does anyone want to travel the world with me?
I'm going to Dallas and Rome.
 
HardcorePigeons: how much would you pay to see a pirate say "dude"
suziefromsweden: A LOT.
HardcorePigeons: ME TOO.
HardcorePigeons: Man, i wish i had a pirate.
 
I refuse to watch "Jackass". Ever.
 
"Oopsies. I baked an air muffin."
 
HardcorePigeons: You're like the OLSEN TWINS
HardcorePigeons: CLONES!
suziefromsweden: EVIL
HardcorePigeons: OH
HardcorePigeons: MY
suziefromsweden: AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HardcorePigeons: god
HardcorePigeons: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
I swear to God that everything on MTV is seriously screwed up. Haha, its great.
 
I'm having a big warning party.
 
This life is going no where...
 
suziefromsweden: If the word was Noops, it would be spoon backwards.
HardcorePigeons: ...
suziefromsweden: LOL. Yeah.
 
MERDA DURA.
 
I have this insane urge to listen to 60s music...
 
Why do I always get mosquito bites in the weirdest spots?
 
suziefromsweden: You know what annoys me?
MuertE de SiN: When people block you?
MuertE de SiN: Or anonymously warn you?
suziefromsweden: No. Well, yeah, but thats a different story.
suziefromsweden: Chain letters.
MuertE de SiN: ^ ^
MuertE de SiN: interesting
suziefromsweden: LOL
*suziefromsweden is warned anonymusly to 3%*
MuertE de SiN: omg, how in the WORLD did your warning level get to three?!
 
Why do I even bother opening chain letters? They're always like "Send this to 8974837218493274321 in the next thirty seconds or you will die tommarow". I hate that.
 
>>> ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
>>>
>>> TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
>>> conversational skills will be as important as any other.
>>>
>>> THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all
>>> you want.
>>>
>>> FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
>>>
>>> FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
>>>
>>> SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
>>>
>>> SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
>>>
>>> EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams
>>> don't have much.
>>>
>>> NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the
>>> only way to live life completely.
>>>
>>> TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
>>>
>>> ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives
>>>
>>> TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
>>>
>>> THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to
>>> answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
>>>
>>> FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve
>>> great risk.
>>>
>>> FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
>>>
>>> SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
>>>
>>> SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
>>> others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
>>>
>>> EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
>>>
>>> NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate
>>> steps to correct it.
>>>
>>> TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in
>>> your voice.
>>>
>>> TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

 
HardcorePigeons: the lady at the cashier was like "you know what this books about...right?"
HardcorePigeons: and i'm like ...yea
HardcorePigeons: cause they told us theres this girl that gets raped
HardcorePigeons: so [the cashier] SCREAMS "DATE RAPE!!!"
suziefromsweden: LOL
HardcorePigeons: and i was like"OMG! I KNOW"
HardcorePigeons: it was so weird
HardcorePigeons: she was freaking out
 
A professor stood before her Philosophy 101 class and had some items in
front
of her.

When the class began, wordlessly, she picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. She then asked
the students
if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. She
shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open
areas
between the golf balls.. She then asked the students again if the jar
was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. She then asked once more if
the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous - yes.

The professor then produced two cans of liquid chocolate from under the
table
and proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar effectively
filling
the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize
that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important
things -
- your family, your spouse, your health, your children, your friends,
your
favorite passions - - things that if everything else was lost and only
they
remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your
house, your
car."

"The sand is everything else - - the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," she continued, "there is no
room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you
spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for
the
things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. "Take
care
of the golf balls first - - the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."

One student raised her hand and inquired what the chocolate
represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you
that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for chocolate!"

 
This one is so true. SHE DID LET GO!! HAHAH!!
 
HardcorePigeons: R!
HardcorePigeons: avast!
 
This one would win, but the Blair Witch Project did.
 
NOOO!! THIS ONE DOES.

The creator of this site if my HERO.
 
I think this one wins.
 
Erin Brockovich
Julia Roberts
I'm a jerk, but I'm brilliant. Give me a job, you fountain of scummy pain evil.
Albert Finney
Ok.
Julia Roberts
This company is poisoning water. Let's fry their ugly hides in extract of hell.
(They DO, and it is HEARTWARMING.)

THE END


(I got lazy and stopped making things bold and such.)
 
Hahaha.
 
Pretty Woman
Julia Roberts
I'm a hooker, but I don't kiss on the lips.
Richard Gere
I have a lot of money.
Julia Roberts
(smooch)

THE END

 
No, I mean I gotta...
 
Crap!
 
The Matrix

Keanu Reeves
Hey everybody, look! Look at me! I'm in a movie that doesn't suck!
Audience
GASP!
Keanu Reeves
Yes, it's true! Not only that, despite my total lack of acting ability, I very nearly didn't suck in this movie!
Audience
(faints)


THE END

 
The Lion King

Scar
You killed your father.
Simba
(runs away)
Nala
We need you.
Simba
(runs back)

THE END
 
Since there are so many movies out there, this is very convinent.
http://rinkworks.com/movieaminute/
 
You have to see this too. They're all amazing.
 
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
I swear to GOD this person is a genious.
 
HardcorePigeons: CA = sun cancer
suziefromsweden: SPF 900: the anti- skin cancer.
HardcorePigeons: LOL
HardcorePigeons: THEY HAVE 70SPF
HardcorePigeons: isn't that cool
HardcorePigeons: i want some
suziefromsweden: It'll probably make you even whiter than you were.
HardcorePigeons: COOL
HardcorePigeons: muwhahahah
HardcorePigeons: i'll be known as "transluscent girl"
suziefromsweden: HAHA
suziefromsweden: TIF
HardcorePigeons: ii won't have to worry about college...i've got a set career in the circus
suziefromsweden: YES.
suziefromsweden: Kellay, the invisible clown.
 
HardcorePigeons: i'll post it
suziefromsweden: Which blog?
HardcorePigeons: i hate you
suziefromsweden: I hate you too.
suziefromsweden: OH
HardcorePigeons: LOL
suziefromsweden: Wait
HardcorePigeons: THATS THE BLOG
 
STALKER.
hahaha!
 
MuertE de SiN: I'm just happy "there is no longer a violent war" against me.
 
The war against Creekboy has now changed to the war against Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
 
Me and Jen have been on the phone for the past 2 hours.
 
In fact, so does everyone else in her family. Its SO WEIRD.
 
Jen has one eye thats smaller than the other one.
HAHAHAHAHA.
 
Since the war is over, me and Kellay don't have anyone to hate.
WHERE DO WE FOCUS OUR ANGER?!!??!
 
Of course, when I'm about to apoligize to Kelli, she signs off.
WHY DOES LIFE TREAT ME THIS WAY!?!?
 
Fine. You know what? I don't care anymore. Kellay, you win. I give up.
 
I GAVE YOU A REASON. AND YOU HAD A REASON TO. IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HELP ME YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID SO.
 
i can keep my nose out of your business.
you ripped my nose off and placed it in your business. you told me about creekboy and everything.
if you didn't want to talk about it, then tell me that and i won't ask you but i'm not going to annoy someone i don't know if i don't have a reason.
 
well i answered it anyway. tough shit.
 
And I never asked you when the weirdness stopped. It was a retorical question, and not for you.
 
If you want to talk , then IM me.
 
only to be greeted with "what do you want"? I want to know why he's a bastard.
 
[why the hell am i having an argument on my BLOG?!?! when will the weirdness stop?!!?]
 
Its Becuase YOU can't keep your nose out of my business...
and then you BETRAYED me.
 
maybe i wouldn't have to cecede from the fight if a certain SOMEONE would just tell me WHY we're fighting it in the first place.
 
What is going on here?!?! I'm having an argument on my blog.
 
I'm sorry, but shouldn't you be finding someone ELSE to betray?
 
way to completely cut off the communication flow.
and by cut off, i mean utterly AMPUTATE.
 
KELLAY!! GET OUT OF MY BLOG!!!
YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOME.
 
bLoNdBaBe3200: i even spelled prooper right

No you didn't.
 
but it's not my fault.
i have no motivation for hating creekboy.
i don't know how to annoy him any longer.
 
bLoNdBaBe3200: miss proper

I just KNEW the weirdness wasn't done with me yet.
 
I didn't this week would get any weirder, but life always proves me wrong.
 
and taco tay IS OFF.
 
Kelli has left the Creek war. Where do begin? Is this the end of the war?
 
HardcorePigeons: but i can't hate him
HardcorePigeons: you know why?
HardcorePigeons: he likes ZOOLANDER

Kelli and Creekboy have a connection. Just when I thought this week couldn't get any weirder, it did. But life always proves me wrong...
 
You can see the conversation here.
 
As if this week just COULDN'T get any weirder, Aparently Creekboy said I was a "Nice, kind woman".
Have we entered some kind of alternate reality or something?
Thursday, July 31, 2003
 
we are 138
we are 138
we arrrrrrrre 138
8! 8! 8! 8! 8!
 
Nevermind. Tripod won't let me use it. Damn Tripod.
 
I'm going to add a background image to the Creek War Journals.
Its going to be amazing.
 
"Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers. "
 
"I'll never forget the time the president came to our town. When I saw him go by, he looked so much older and sadder than I thought he was. Also, why was he driving an ice cream truck?"
 
THE SEAL LINK WON'T WORK!
 
So this is suzie's blog.



She's going to delete this post now. Sorry.
 
MachetesAreCool: i posted in your blog
MachetesAreCool: WOOHOO I AM SPECIAK
MachetesAreCool: and also special.
 
The artist for that disney channel show "Stanley" can't draw for crap.
 
Oh my god I'm Kelli
I fell in a can of Jelly
I'm going to kill someone now
Oh my god I'm Kelli.

 
Cup of Java
 
Blogger Kindergarten
LOL.
 
Guess what.
At 6, I'm babysitting the leg-humping cross dressing psycho Russian kids.
I hate kids, but I love money.
 
suziefromsweden: She probably forgets.
MachetesAreCool: Elephant-Heather-Chan
 
MachetesAreCool: Still the weird symbols.
MachetesAreCool: WHAT DO THEY MEAN
MachetesAreCool: ARGH
suziefromsweden: I took them off.
suziefromsweden: But they came back.
MachetesAreCool: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MachetesAreCool: OMG
MachetesAreCool: The symbols are probably signs signalling Dawson to the Mothership
 
MachetesAreCool: He's weird, that Greg.
MachetesAreCool: Rather be safe than Gregged.
 
You're going to hell.
 
I love my seals.
(The picture was WAY too big for my blog, so you can ejoy it on a separate site.)
 
I still haven't added my tagboard/ side menu crap to my blog... This needs to be changed.
 
MachetesAreCool: how do?
suziefromsweden: PROPER.
suziefromsweden: *improper.
MachetesAreCool: STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
suziefromsweden: Still doing the idiot immpression.
MachetesAreCool: Stoop.
MachetesAreCool: LOL
suziefromsweden: LOOK AT ME. I'M CREEKBOY AND I'M AN ASSHOLE.
suziefromsweden: That was my asshole immpression.
MachetesAreCool: I'M DAWSON AND I'M A JACKASS.
MachetesAreCool: Oh, the sweet release of such anger.
 
bLoNdBaBe3200: cause it had boy germs
suziefromsweden: LOL
suziefromsweden: COOTIES.

HAHHA!!! Jen makes my creepy morning all better. LOL. Cooties.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
 
Why is my blog so screwed up?!?!?!
 
I want someone to buy me ice cream... and I want a cherry on top.
 
Today has just been way too weird.
 
Blog is dying...
And guess what... so am I.
 
HardcorePigeons: S- Special
HardcorePigeons: U- (I can't think of anything to begin with "U")
HardcorePigeons: Z- (I can't think of anything to begin with "Z")
HardcorePigeons: I- Interesting
HardcorePigeons: E- Eclectic
HardcorePigeons: S-U-Z-I-E
HardcorePigeons: SUZIE!
suziefromsweden: I LOVE IT.
HardcorePigeons: It's more like a cheer
HardcorePigeons: but I WORKED HARF2458D!
HardcorePigeons: LOL
HardcorePigeons: I MEAN "HARD"
HardcorePigeons: I don't know what happened there.
 
So I'm walking around my house, and I see this little girl with poofy curly blonde hair walking around wearing this little yellow dress...
Then "she" turns around. Its my 8 year old MALE neighbor wearing a wig and my tank top as a dress.....
I am mentally scarred from this image. I mean for gods sake, the kid was wearing my bra stuffed with socks... and it stretched out my tank top!!
That kid WILL pay.
 
THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER IS ON!!
Its like, my favorite movie of ALL TIME.
 
Yeah, so i just went to pick up Heather at her friend's house.... They have a ridiculously gorgeous house. I hate them. But I love their hampster. Its so tiny!
 
I made him feel bad by (accidently) talking about his ex-girlfriend...
This revenge is working better than planned.
 
Find his IP addresss. I want to nuke his computer.

 
suziefromsweden: LICEY LICE LICE LICE!
GNice5G: cute kelli
GNice5G: at least i spell my name right
suziefromsweden: Note the screen name.
suziefromsweden: Do you THINK I'm Kelli?
suziefromsweden: Fine. You caught me.
suziefromsweden: And cut your mullet
GNice5G: mullet? thats a good one
GNice5G: learn to spell kelly then IM me
*GNice5G warns SuzieFromSweden to 35%*
suziefromsweden: I'M NOT KELLAY YOU ASSHOLE
 
"If life is a river
Then love is a boat
I'm like a water baby
Born to float."
 
Oh my god I'm Suzie
I fell in a jacuzzi
I slipped inside and broke my side
Oh my god I'm Suzie.

 
Nevermind. I can't. I have to watch my sisters. There goes my free food.
Wait. I don't buy the food in my house.
YAY!! I STILL GET FREE FOOD!!
 
I'm going to the swim team banquet tonight. I'm not even on the swim team. HAHA! Go me. I always know where to find free food.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
 
I think I have a cold. I don't feel well. I'm making soup...
 
But otherwise I had a fun time at the pool.
 
My eyes are killing me. My uncle put 6 buckets of sand in his pool... and i have no idea why... all I know is that I have sand in my eyes and it is KILLING ME.
 
suziefromsweden (12:56:19 PM): All online/ video/computer/handheld games are EVIL and should be avoided at all costs.
tallgiraffe32 (12:56:30 PM): if u'd rather sell tshirts and thongs and clocks with ur symbols on them instead of playing games than u do that becasue its fun to u
tallgiraffe32 (12:56:36 PM): and i do neopets
tallgiraffe32 (12:56:39 PM): cause its fun to me
tallgiraffe32 (12:56:54 PM): why do u say their evil?
suziefromsweden (12:56:57 PM): Um, I sell them for MONEY.
suziefromsweden (12:57:06 PM): Becuase. They take over people's MINDS.
tallgiraffe32 (12:57:12 PM): lol
tallgiraffe32 (12:57:16 PM): :-D
suziefromsweden (12:57:22 PM): No, I'm serious.
tallgiraffe32 (12:57:31 PM): so i don't have my mind?
suziefromsweden (12:57:40 PM): No. They have it.
tallgiraffe32 (12:57:47 PM): LOL
tallgiraffe32 (12:57:53 PM): who's "they"?
suziefromsweden (12:58:01 PM): CREEKBOY AND ALL THAT ASSOCIATE WITH HIM
suziefromsweden (12:58:03 PM): DIE, CREEKBOY. DIE.
tallgiraffe32 (12:58:12 PM): creekboy?


My angry moments.
 
tallgiraffe32: just playing on neopets
tallgiraffe32: as usual
suziefromsweden: You're still into neopets?
tallgiraffe32: yep
tallgiraffe32: hey
tallgiraffe32: there is a lady
tallgiraffe32: who's
tallgiraffe32: 20
tallgiraffe32: and she's into it
suziefromsweden: (Sad.)
tallgiraffe32: its not like its a baby thing
tallgiraffe32: its not like barney or anything
suziefromsweden: No, its not a baby thing. Its just not cool.
tallgiraffe32: who said?
suziefromsweden: I did.
Monday, July 28, 2003
 
I'm going to sleep. I've got a *cough* wonderful morning of chess and study skills ahead of me.
Somebody pass me my shotgun.
Okay, so I don't have a shotgun, but I'm still very angry.
 
Auto response from HardcorePigeons: i say we line em all up
then we gun em all down
then we all celebrate
as they all hit the ground
suziefromsweden: You're talking about Creekboy and all that associate with him, right?

 
Thats it. I'm getting a new template.
 
Well, I just got back from the movies with Jen. We went to see How To Deal. It was a great movie. Scratch that. AMAZING movie... but the people sitting in front of us? Now thats an entirely different story.

They were INSANE. They ruined the ENTIRE movie. I wanted to go up to them and yell at them, but Jen wouldn't let me.
They were laughing when "someone" died, they were running around during his funeral, they were screaming when they found out that "someone" was pregnant, and they just didn't shut up throughout the ENTIRE movie. I was so pissed. And at the ending scene when it was all happy and heartwarming, they went up and danced in front of the screen... I mean, I was PISSED OFF.
While Jen and I were in the parking lot waiting for her mom to come, I saw those girls in the parking lot... and since I was pissed off, I went over to them and told them off. It was great. Jen hid. She thought they were going to kill us... and as they were walking away they looked back at me and I gave them the finger... its the first time I ever gave someone the finger.. and thats how incredibly pissed off I was...
So yeah, Jen and I had a "fun" time at the movies. The end.
 
Newborn kangaroos are the size of a honeybee.
That is REALLY small, man. REALLY SMALL.
 
And I can't even edit my blog.... errrr.
 
Wow. I am so mad at Jen right now.
 
I Hate Creekboy.
 
Weapon of Mass Sarcasm
Sunday, July 27, 2003
 
HardcorePigeons: cheese-its are SO MUCH better than cheese nips, it's not even funny
suziefromsweden: I know.
HardcorePigeons: cheese nips don't even deserve to be called crackers.
suziefromsweden: They should be called crappers.
 
HardcorePigeons: im confused
HardcorePigeons: as i usually am
suziefromsweden: No, you're blonde.
HardcorePigeons: THERE'S A DIFFERENCE?
suziefromsweden: No.
HardcorePigeons: LOL
 
I found a place to film my show!!! Its in Atlantic City. Kellay is going to be my announcer my side-kick, and my manager.
Life cereal box, here I come...

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